Letters to My Girls

The Start of School; The Stress of the Parent

by Lorie Fuller

You can practically feel the crackle in the air as mothers everywhere send their kids back to school.  My own kids will start back on Monday. 

Attending school today myself, I was shuffled through a line to do paperwork, pay fees, get uniforms, and be patient behind the stressed-out parents in front of me.  I was a lucky one - my kids were home this morning with Dad as I braved the school cafeteria, and I didn't need to get to a 9-5:00 job like most of the parents. 

Nevertheless, I'm feeling stressed.  I have a dozen important dates on my calendar for the next week, alone, and I'm constantly worried about forgetting something. I volunteered to be room-mom for my daughter's pre-school class.  I paid an astronomical amount of money for a few polyester uniforms, and will still end up "cheating" a bit because I simply can't send my kid to school wearing a hot, polyester shirt, so I may end up at the principal's office on the first day. 

I admit I avoided many of the fee-based programs and fund-raising options this morning.  Things like purchasing cookbooks or baked goods, grocery totes, the Birthday Book Club, and etc.  The fact is, there are new fees each week at school for everything from the numerous photographs taken (remember the days when school photos were once per year?), to book fairs, outings, auctions...something every week.  There are days I feel as though I'm choosing grade school over college in terms of cost.  I do the best I can, I do my part, but I have to pick and choose. 

On top of it, the politics at my kids' school are intense.  In fact, because of recent events involving the removal of students with same-sex parents, I feel as though I'm betraying my own set of values by sending my children to school where the administration discriminates against certain children.  The choice to continue for one more year was gut-wrenching. 

I feel incredibly lucky that I adore the my daughters' teachers, trust them implicitly, and know they love my kids.  I feel good that we can discuss issues and find solutions, and that they aren't afraid to tell me the good and the not-so-good about my kids so that we partner in raising them.  I'm grateful for the parents, who, like me, struggled with their decision to send their kids this year, and who exchange looks of support with me daily.  I'm thankful that my daughters have lovely friends at school - the sweetest, smartest kids who amaze me daily. 

The bottom line?  I want my kids to get a good education, and I will be supportive to those who directly impact that education.  But, the weight of responsibility that goes with it is suffocating at the moment.  And, it has never been more important to suck it up, put a smile on my face, and be 110% there for my kids and their school.  I'll take it one day at a time. 

___________________________________________________

As a parent, do you feel stressed at the start of the school year, or are you relieved that your kids are back in a routine? 

The Body Talk

by Lorie Fuller

My Dear Daughter:

You've been asking me lots of questions lately.  Your 5-yr-old brain is constantly turning, wondering, wandering down a series of paths at an alarmingly faster rate each day.  Those innocent, precious blue eyes peer into mine as you ask some of the most difficult questions a mom will ever try to answer. 

You're too young to be embarrassed yet by the discussions we've had about boys, bodies, pregnancy, peeing, puking, digestion, boobs and endless other things.  Either fortunately or unfortunately (you'll have to decide), I'm one of those moms who will talk about anything.  I may not always have the words (hence the trip to the bookstore today) to explain, but I promise I'll always try to give you the best information I have.  One day, after you graduate from medical school (no pressure, though) you can come back and tell me what I got wrong. 

I hope you'll always ask me questions, even if what you're asking seems weird or embarrassing.  I hope you know I'll always do my best to answer honestly and completely.  I won't leave anything out to preserve anyone's modesty or to try to make you believe something that isn't true.  I won't try to make you afraid, but I will always tell you the risks. 

I hope you won't talk about your body with your friends until you're older and can evaluate what's plausible and what isn't.  Friends aren't always a good source for information, but a mom is.  As you become more knowledgeable about your physical self, I hope that things won't be so mysterious that you feel compelled to explore before you're ready.  I believe that the more you know, the more comfortable you will be with yourself and with what you want, and the more prepared you will be when you get to make choices for yourself.   So, I will share everything I know to help you. 

One thing I dearly love about you is that you talk about what's going on in your head.  You love to explore and learn.  You're willing to look at things that might seem frightening or mysterious.  You don't hide from oddities.   

When you asked me this week to talk to you more about bodies and babies, we did what I've done my whole lifetime - find books on the topic!  We looked at anatomy books, books about reproduction, books about sex, bodies, and numerous others.  I encourage you to learn to research for yourself, and to arm yourself with knowledge. 

We also talked about touching - the good kind and the bad.  What's appropriate and what isn't.  What to do if someone tries to hurt you or touch you without your permission.  Some of these things are scary for both of us, but you took it in stride, and I'm trying to do so, as well. 

As you grow up, your body will begin to tell you things.  You may not understand, and you most assuredly will need to ask questions. I hope you'll never be afraid to ask me, or a doctor, about anything that seems odd to you.  Most of the time, what you experience will be normal, and you'll find that everyone else is experiencing the same thing. 

I hope you develop a healthy respect for your self - your mind, body, intuition, rights, likes, wishes, spirituality, and choices.  I hope you explore others with a healthy amount of skepticism, and find some truly invaluable relationships in your life, as I have.  I hope you are not encumbered by the social expectations and rituals that seem so deeply ingrained in our society, but rather find your own definition of love, friendship, and spirituality. 

I hope you will know what it's like to be crazy in love with someone, to have the kind of passion that expands your soul and your mind in such a way you can't even imagine closing yourself up to it.  I hope you hurt little for the love of another. 

The fact is, the little biology lesson we had today is just the start of the journey toward understanding your body and how it relates to your mind and your spirit.  It may be hard to believe, but your sense of physical self will have enormous impact on your life.  What you choose for your body will directly or indirectly change the way your life plays out.   

Let's work on this together, as we did today - always. 

My Heart to Yours,

Mommy 

___________________________________________________________

For Parents:  Besides some basic books on anatomy, I found a wonderful resource called "What's the Big Secret?" by Laurie Krasny Brown.  The book is wonderful, child-friendly, not-too-complicated look at bodies and sex for a younger child.  Be sure to read it to yourself before reading it to the child, and edit to suit your needs.   

Middle-Age, Near Vision, and Secrets Between Friends

by Lorie Fuller

A friend and I were talking the other day and she admitted a secret to me.  I remember having the same secret a few years ago when "it" happened to me.  It came just after my optometrist told me that "these things happen" in middle-age.  MIDDLE-AGE?  No, I don't think so. 

As it turns out, middle-age starts in your mid-forties, and one definitive sign is the sudden inability to read the side of a yogurt container at the grocery store.  I'm sure that it happened over a period of years, but it seemed to me that it was quite sudden.  Reading a magazine or a medicine bottle became impossible, even with the glasses or contact lenses that had served me well over the years.  Trying to find a size or washing instructions on clothing tags became a challenge.  Making out the difference between a "5" and a "3" was impossible. 

The funny thing was, I actually went to get reading glasses before I really thought I was terminally vision-challenged.  I'm not sure what I thought, but getting the readers seemed like entering a right-of-passage before my time.  In fact, I was embarrassed to admit to my eye doctor I had gone that step without checking with her first.  Let's just say, she wasn't the least bit shocked. 

Now that I have a half-dozen pairs sprinkled judiciously around the house, I'm still not completely comfortable with the concept.  I don't really think of myself as being old enough to need reading glasses, yet my eyes betray me that direction every day.

Besides my annoyance at having to pick up a pair of glasses every time I want to read something, I think the saddest part about losing my near vision is that I'm missing some of the details in my kids' faces, their little dimpled hands, their beautiful hair, their perfect little belly buttons.  My daughters are better at pointing out details in nature, books, plays...then I am.  I can't help them appreciate some of those tiny details in life that take two good eyes to see.  Parenting at this age has its benefits, to be sure, but vision loss isn't one of them. 

On a positive note, I can no longer see some of the fine lines, skin imperfections, and little hairs that used to plague me in the mirror each day, and no one else my age can, either, unless they cheated and got Lasik.  I wish they were actually gone, but I know they aren't. 

So, my dear friend with the secret - I do understand exactly what you're going through, and I won't say your name here so that you can manage the transition in your own time.  I'm just glad I can be here to listen, and commiserate. 

High Maintenance? Are You Kidding Me?

If I hear the words "high" and "maintenance" used in a sentence together ever again I might just explode like a firecracker.  Errr, I guess I already did that once this year. 

We use the HM phrase to refer to the behavior or personality traits of human beings.  It's one of those terms that seems to easily define complex people who have needs or standards that are hard to meet.  And, we are all about easily defining others. 

A friend of mine recently used this term to frame a description of herself as she related to others.  I can't remember the exact phrase, but she was basically saying that if I believed certain things about her, then the only conclusion I could believe was that she was "high maintenance." 

Unfortunately for my friend and for our friendship, the explosion was deafening. 

My anger at her partly resulted from feeling she was not only dead-wrong about herself, but for an incredibly intelligent, educated, and savvy woman, her reasoning skills seemed to have flown out of a very large hatch that opened at the top of her brain.  Her behavior was juvenile and self-destructive. 

I admit I also felt insulted. How could she disrespect herself so much as to pull out those words to describe what I found to be a lovely entanglement of admirable qualities she had nurtured over the years?  What could she possibly gain from offering a closed-ended ultimatum to someone who had absolutely no intention of defining her in such base terms? 

I think I sputtered out something like, "I couldn't care less about whether you're high maintenance or not.  We aren't in a barnyard."  Bad, I know. 

What I hope my girls can gain from my friend's mistake is to respect their wild intricacies and not spend a bunch of time defining themselves, either to themselves or to others.  Also, give friends respect by trusting they will admire you, if not understand you. 

Now, what can I learn from my own mistake? I'll go to bat for a good friend - even if it's against him- or her-self.  I may just need to curb my enthusiasm. 

   

Changed For the Better...Spiritual Connections in Friendship.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return.

 

Stephen Schwartz

"For Good"

 

Dear Daughters:

 

You've heard these lyrics a number of times since I discovered this song from the musical Wicked a few months ago.  This song came into my life at an opportune moment - one in which I was pondering how very important friendships have become to me.  I often think that songs come into my life in a very spiritual way, seemingly drifting along at just the time to make full impact, the message being, "Pay attention, Lorie.  There's something here for you to learn."

 

I want to share with you another spiritual thing about my life in hopes that you also have this experience - and enjoy it to its fullest. 

 

There are a dozen or so people I've met in my lifetime who have made a significant positive and lasting impact on my life.  I can picture each one of their faces, and bring their names to mind instantly.  It's as though each has his or her imprint on my soul.  It's not that I haven't met lots of people who made a difference - I'm talking about those who absolutely changed me. 

 

I'm not sure I can describe adequately what happens when you meet such a person.  It's interesting to me that several of these folks have spent very little direct time in my life, but have had the most percussive effect. Finding it is like tuning into a radio station that suddenly becomes crystal clear in its sound.  It's a level of knowing, of faith, of existential certainty. 

 

If you read this as a teenager or young woman, you might wonder if I'm talking about being in love.  The answer is no.  This isn't the type of connection you have when you crush or feel giddy around an attractive person, nor is it the "soul mate" experience you may have with someone you love.  I'm talking more about a feeling that you have some deep understanding of another human being, that he or she is a representation of something greater than you can define, and who you feel is absolutely meant to be there. 

 

I'm a parent first, and while I want you to know that this may happen to you, I also want you to know that the initial outcome isn't always positive.  You may feel drawn to a person, but still feel hopelessly unable to connect at any social level.  Or, perhaps this person is a teacher (as several are for me) and while you want desperately to meet his expectations of you, you occasionally disappoint him with your efforts, only knowing much later in life that it's the recognition (and correction, of course) of that failure that counts. 

 

You might even feel as though someone you meet has been a part of your life for all eternity, and that your relationship is meant to correct some unapparent wound of a soul from a past life or existence. 

 

These encounters aren't always lengthy or complex.  You may have one thing to learn from someone and that may be all there is.  You may have this experience and not even know it until years later. 

 

It's not always easy to identify these people in your life.  You become more skilled at it as you gain experience with relationships and social situations.   Try not to look for it, but once you find that connection and know it's true, bask in it.  Take full advantage of the moments you have.  Learn.  Give.  And, know that even if the physical presence of that human being doesn't remain, the spiritual significance will, your whole life. 

 

I hope you both open yourselves up to this concept and have many such experiences.  I hope you perform the same role for others in your lifetime, and recognize when you are the one who has something to teach another. 

 

With all my love,

Mommy

 

 

 

 

Drugs, Children, and Bad Reporting

by Lorie Fuller

There was a story reported across the country this week regarding the practice of drugging children to calm them for traveling.  The news reported that a study performed by Dr. Shan Yin says that drugging children with cough syrup or Benadryl to calm them for travel is child abuse. 

Did you read the study ?  I did. 

The reason I read the study was that it seemed far-fetched to me to believe that a scientist would specifically study the practice of giving a kid Benadryl to travel.  How much data could actually be gathered on the subject and how was it managed?  Did someone stand at airport gates and survey families as they got on an airplane to find out if they drugged their kids to calm them down for the flight? 

The news also reported that of 14,000 cases studied, 14% resulted in "major consequences including death."  Really?  

The news folks even went out to get some expert opinions about what you should do with a child just before traveling, instead of drugging her.  

As with many studies reported in the news today, the true reason for the study, the actual numbers involved, and the derived conclusions were mis-reported.  In short, the study covered all sorts of drugs, cases of drugging that had nothing to do with traveling, and cases involving severe forms of child abuse.  The data came from reports to poison control centers across the US. 

I'm not trying to defend the practice of giving children drugs without cause.  As parents, we need to be particularly careful administering drugs to our children to prevent harm and to demonstrate how serious it is to give medicine to a child. 

What I am trying to say here is that the issue of media reporting study results incorrectly has become comical. Every time I hear those words on the news, my eyes roll back in my head.  It's as though the reporters don't ever think to actually go out and read the study to find out what it's really about. If a study is really worth reporting in the news, wouldn't a reporter want more than the typical 90 seconds to cover the facts? 

It took me about ten minutes to find the study on the Internet and read through it.  I'm not a scientist, but I could see in those ten minutes that the study really wasn't about drugging children for travel, nor did it conclude that the practice is child abuse.  

As for the practice of getting expert interviews to educate us based upon the mis-reporting of the facts, let me just say to the news folks - it doesn't add credibility to your report to give us information on how to fix something that doesn't exist in the study to begin with.  In addition, reporting cases of severe health consequences is irrelevant if the subject of your report has nothing to do with the facts of the study.

So, how many times did I link the study in this post?  Eight more times than the report I read on the news.  Get the point?

Creative Flavors and The Art of Soothing the Upset Tummy

by Lorie Fuller

In case you've never tried Tums before, I'll just say that they are little disks of powdery stuff that you chew up and swallow to make your tummy behave when it's feeling a bit under-the-weather.  The formulas have gotten better over the years, so the powdery stuff doesn't taste like chalk anymore, and the new flavors are fabulous!

My favorite Tums came out a few years ago when Cocoa and Creme Smoothies were introduced!  You heard it right - heartburn relief that takes you back to the malt shop!  Not only do they taste good, it's a great way to get in some calcium without taking the horse pills.  Like something from the candy counter instead?  There are tropical and berry flavors, peppermint, wintergreen, orange, and a few others.  Just today, I found a bottle of Tums for children that are...cherry flavored!  

This got me to thinking about what you might be able to do with a few bottles of Tums at a really nice bar.  Those jelly bean people think they've cornered the market on combining flavors, but I've figured out how to do it, have some fun, and get your RDA of calcium at the same time! 

Here are some drinkie recipes I came up with while lost in my antacid daydreams:

1 Creme, 1 Cocoa, 2 Cherries + Kahlua: Chocolate Cherry Latte

1 Cocoa, 2 Peppermint + Chocolate Liqueur and Creme de Menthe: Peppermint Pattie

2 Mixed Berry, 2 Strawberry, 2 Berry Fusion+ Chambord: Tuttie Fruitie

1 Orange Cream, 1 Creme + White Chocolate Liqueur:  Chocolate Creamsickle

4 Tropical Fruit + Creme de Cacao + Banana Liqueur:  Tropical Paradise

The way I see it, taking Tums with alcohol cancels out the possibility of tummy upset in the morning.  If you're dieting, make dessert out of it - only 10 calories per Tum! 

Just so you know, I don't work for the nice folks at Tums, nor did they pay me for this post.  Really - I would tell you if I had a garage full of Cocoa and Creme digestive agents.  This article is really all about menopause and the odd things it does to your brain. 

**Children - absolutely don't take Tums without the consent of an adult. 

Fire the Nanny! We Need IT!

by Lorie Fuller

I just replaced my computer printer for the third time in ten years. Evidently, printers are now disposable chunks of cash-sucking, anxiety producing machinery.  After sinking a small fortune in ink jets, paper, and frankly, my time, I gave up. 

It took awhile to convince my husband that we really needed a new printer.  A few weeks ago, I was having trouble with it and wrote a (totally unreasonable and hormonal) scorching email to him about spending an hour trying to print one stupid page.  About the moment I pressed the enter key, I decided to re-load the print driver, and voila!  The document printed.  My husband was not happy with the email or my attitude, but in my defense, this had been going on for months. 

Then yesterday, I went to print valuable coupons for Chuck-E-Cheeses and couldn't do it.  I re-booted, re-loaded, re-sent, and re-acted for a few hours until I put my feet (all two of them) down!  I don't know if it was my purple face, or the loss of the precious coupons (we don't go anywhere without a coupon), but we ended up replacing the printer after a lengthy discussion of the facts and my refusal to re-install the operating system on my computer, just to see if that would work. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't the first run-in I had with computers this week, or this month, or this year.  I've been trying to get my mom set up with Internet access for several months now, and each time I try, something goes wrong.  The latest disaster is that, immediately after installing her DSL (and incidentally, refusing the company's exorbitant monthly rates to install their anti-virus program) the computer mysteriously came down with a major trojan virus.  This particular trojan mimics the look of an anti-virus program, making you think it's scanning the computer when it isn't.  It's designed to scare people into upgrading to the host's premium product, which means paying a fee for a product that doesn't exist.  They probably steal your credit card number in the process.  Thankfully, we didn't fall for it. 

I was lucky enough to own a computer from an early age, and I had to put it all together and get Internet service on my own.  I learned a great deal from managing my own technology over the years, and from participating in a number of tech projects through various jobs I held.  Many people don't have that opportunity.  Between my husband and I, we've been able to solve most of our own technology woes. 

As I was stomping my feet the other day over the printer, with my very reasonable and level-headed husband asking me why we have to replace our hardware so often and why I need so much software to stay home with the kids, I realized something. 

There are tons of people out there, and in particular senior citizens, who need to have technology in their homes to live their lives, but have no way to maintain it should something go wrong.  While there are plenty of computer service companies out there, we all know that the cost of fixing what's broken is ridiculous, and not everyone can afford it. Private-eye reporters have also proved that you can take an unbroken computer to a perfectly experienced looking geek, get billed a few hundred dollars, and get back what you brought in.  This does little to instill confidence in the consumer that her computer problems can actually be solved without a whole lot of cash and the end result of purchasing a new computer, anyway.

Trying to research new technology to make a purchase is a chore.  The Internet is full of information, but if you look carefully, you start to realize that much of it is misleading and marketing-driven.  Even the customer reviews/star rating systems are faulty as rogue reviewers now get paid to plant false reviews to either boost, or destroy, a product's ratings.  Without Ph.D.'s in both marketing and technology, it's impossible to pick the best products at the best prices. 

Still stomping, it then occurred to me that every business has some sort of IT guru(s) who assist them when computers need to be purchased or repaired.  Home users can't just put in a trouble ticket when the computer doesn't seem right, and expect an IT pro to come fix it.  So, why do we have to replace our hardware so often?  In part, because we use our computer equipment all the time, every day, to live our lives, and it eventually wears out.  In addition, we are limited in our ability to fix what is broken without getting ripped off.  In the end, it's easier and less costly to invest in a new machine when a computer starts behaving badly. 

I had worn a hole in the carpet with the stomping bit, and it finally hit me:  We don't need nannies.  We don't need maids, or babysitters, or laundresses, or gardeners.  What we need is live-in IT professionals.  Now, I don't have a nanny or any of those other wonderful-sounding helpers, but if I did - if I could afford to pay someone's salary - I would be first in line to get my own private IT pro.  I figure the guy would save me all sorts of time I could spend on washing, cleaning, and hauling kids to activities so that I could be a super-mommy instead of a computer-fix-it-gal.   

What's in a Word?

by Lorie Fuller

My 5-yr-old just asked, "Can you get the stinky cheese off the stove right now so I don't...like...die!"  Oh my!  I was around when the word "like" first became a fixture in the lexicon of teenage girls everywhere, but never did I expect to hear my young daughter use it, or for that matter, use the intonation it takes to really drive that word home.  She's got it down.   And, I'm pretty sure she's never seen "Valley Girl." 

Of course, I now wonder if I'm using the word "like" when speaking - perhaps she picked it up from me?  My mother and I had a recent discussion about the oft-used and basically meaningless word "amazing."  That word seems to sneak into my dialog when I'm feeling a bit lazy and don't want to come up with a real word to describe how I feel.  Hope the kids don't pick up on that one.

My kids come up with some of the funniest words and phrases, some of which seem to stick in our household and never quite get corrected.  Words like "refrigidator," "buhsquito," "chilly cold," "poppyco,"  "stanky," "snotchos," and the like.  My 3-yr-old, upon observing that I was about to nibble on her toes the other day, said, "No Mommy!  Those are poisonous piggies!"  This week my oldest threatened me with "the touch" if I "ruined her fun."  There's the ever-present "but, all my blood is going to come out!" whenever anyone gets a boo-boo here - have no idea where that came from, but it's too funny to pass up! 

The introduction of Scooby Doo in our household has brought up many a conversation about mummies, cat zombies, pirates, ghost-es, and monsters.  Already gone are the days when all I had to explain were glass slippers, ball gowns, tiaras, and why a girl should never marry a prince until she's self-sufficient with her income. 

The inevitable body parts (fluids, matter, etc.) have come up a number of times.  My oldest is able to work the word "poop" into any sentence, much to the consternation of the diners in the next booth.  I had a breast-feeding mom over awhile ago, and now the term "booby-juice" gets tossed around.  I made the mistake of using the term "private parts" once, and now it gets used far too frequently, along with gales of laughter and squealing. 

Oh yes, and we can't bring up this subject without discussing cuss words, now can we?  Yes, they've picked up "assssshhhooolllle" though my husband and I argue exactly from which movie that word came and I personally think it isn't a swear word unless they say it with proper diction and can recite the definition.  The word "dammit" occasionally rears its ugly head from my oldest, and she uses it properly, to add emphasis to a sentence - followed by giggles. 

We did a terrible thing with our children, too often using phrases that start with the word "if" - i.e. "If you don't pick up ten things off your floor, you won't get a story tonight."  This has come back to haunt us, as the children are now able to compose similar threats to use against us, such as "If you don't give me ice cream, all my blood is gonna come out!"  In this case, it's the parents who burst into peals of laughter, and the children don't like that one bit. 

I can tolerate a little drama from my 5-yr-old, like, if I have to.  As long as she doesn't use the word "poop" in a restaurant from now on, I'll be OK.  Heck, my parents lived through it, and so can we! 

Patience

by Lorie Fuller

We took the kids up to Estes Park, CO today to take in the mountain splendor and breathe a little clean air.  One of our annual treks, Estes Park is a favorite with our daughters because we stop at what we call "Chipmonkey Point" where the wildlife is a bit tamer than it oughtta be because people feed them all sorts of goodies.  The chipmunks are particularly cute, and watching my little ones feed the frisky fellows (peanuts, no salt, of course) is a learning experience. 

My 3-yr-old is typical, unable to sit for very long with her hand extended and without talking.  It's almost impossible to get a kid to understand that to stop, sit, watch, and wait patiently is the only way to get what she ultimately wants.  She kept repeating, "Mommy, they aren't going to come!"  She would squirm, jump, and shrug her shoulders over and over again and scared away the critters every time they had just about found her.  On the other hand, the seasoned 5-yr-old took a spot on a rock, filled her hand with peanuts, waited patiently, and was rewarded. 

The day before, I was standing in line at the mall sushi bar (Sarku, Japan- Flatirons Crossing).  Sushi is just about the most healthy thing you can eat at a mall when the food court is filled with things like fried cheese, hot-dog-on-a-stick, and melted fat on a bun.  (Don't get me wrong - I like an occasional McD's just like the next guy.)  The sushi at the mall is actually made right before your eyes, to order, is reasonably priced, and as fresh as can be.

Lucky enough to be third in line watching the ladies make the sushi, fascinating in itself, I also observed the behavior of other waiting customers. Freshly prepared sushi takes awhile to create, and it ought to.  Sushi-making is an artistic endeavor and more importantly, it has to be prepared properly to keep it safe.  If you eat sushi at all, you know this to be true. 

Nevertheless, I watched one annoyed-looking person tapping her foot, arms crossed, eyes rolling, and exclaiming her frustration over the delay in being served.  When my order came up and was being handed to me over the counter, she actually pushed past me and said, "That's mine.  We've been waiting for a long time!"  She looked at me as though there was no possible way my order had come up before hers, though I can only imagine why as she had ordered after I had.  She made no apology after realizing her mistake but just stepped back and talked under her breath to her companion.   

Over the years, I've learned to be patient and polite at restaurants and other service-related businesses.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I knew how to behave in those environments from the time I was about 5.  I don't really expect my 3-yr-old to understand the behavior of a chipmunk, but I do expect the adults around me to understand what it means to wait patiently for a good thing and recognize the value of the opportunity they have, not only for the products they wait for, but the human skill and interaction it takes to make those products happen. 

I've taken a few temp jobs in my lifetime to stay afloat while waiting for other opportunities.  I've worked service-industry jobs and been treated badly.  In this economy, I imagine any one of us could find ourselves in similar positions.  Your qualifications, degrees, past salaries, and years of experience could mean nothing when you take a job just to earn a buck.  But, when you go work that temp job as a Barista at a cafe, is there any difference to how you expect to be treated in that job vs. any other?    

Not always polite or patient, I certainly understand occasional social misbehavior.  It often arises in situations where either the provider, or the customer, is misunderstood.  There's a point at which one should have experienced enough in life to know better than to rush to judgment, or behave badly.  There comes a time when it's essential to recognize the effort and time it takes to do something right.  And, knowing these things, being able to tell actual time is also a desirable skill, as, according to my watch, it was about 8 minutes from order to service anyway.  That woman's fast-food mentality just wasn't appropriate or necessary, though I imagine she's just as impatient after waiting ten seconds at McD's. 

My darling daughter wants to move to the next thing as quickly as she can right now.  I do understand, and I fight that urge myself sometimes.  I hope when she's five, she'll sit patiently for her prize, knowing it will come, and knowing it's well worth the delay.